DemosNews: Quelling an Ear Assault
Quelling an Ear Assault
By: sakurachan

Does this qualify as style? Not quite. But, it’s a stylish solution to an unpleasant problem that delighted a friend in the telling the other day. Many years ago we occupied a tiny half floor apartment in a New York brownstone. After a while, new tenants moved in overhead who listened to obnoxiously loud radio music at all hours.

My husband always kept a collection of audio gizmos, and a knavish sense of humor. He calmly recorded himself speaking very slowly in a basso- profundo voice “TUURRNN DOWWNN THAATT DAMMNED RADDDIO IMMMEDDIATELY.” When he replayed the tape at quickened speed, it sounded almost normal (a little chipmunky), but completely unrecognizable as his own person.

He readied a little transmitter from his acoustic stash, and waited. When the culprits came home and turned on the radio blast, he tuned his transmitter to the same radio frequency to which they were listening, and broadcast his recording. Because we were so proximate, our signal obliterated the real radio feed. There was a sudden (surely stunned) scuttle of footsteps overhead, their radio volume hastily dropped to a whisper, then a final on-air remark from our transmitter “THAATT”S BETTTER.” No need to repeat the medicine. It solved the problem but good. They never had a clue how the phantom command issued from their own radio. And of course, harbored no hard feelings to innocent us.

© 2022 sakurachan of DemosNews

April 27, 2008 at 4:19pm
DemosRating: 4.75
Hits: 1664

Genre: Styles (Life)
Type: Creative
Tags: loud, noise

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